Stardate: May 2000
New position for Jack Spong17th MAY – What do bishops do when they retire? Take up beekeeping, perhaps. Spend more time at the opera. Or even make the occasional guest appearance at church suppers. Jack Spong, retired Bishop of Newark and fierce opponent of George Carey in the Anglican gay debate, has other ideas. He plans to write a sex column for the former editor of that venerable theological journal, Penthouse. His column will appear on a new website to be launched in June called thePosition.com.Spong, ever-keen not to court controversy, comments: "I'm a little bit concerned that some people are treating this as some sort of salacious thing. It's an attempt to discuss sexuality in a serious way." This is just what the world needs right now: more focus on sexuality. Presumably, the position the Bishop will advocate in his monthly column will not be of the missionary variety. Coincidentally, Jack Spong is 69. Nicky Gumbel lookalike discovered at last
Mind-expanding worship2nd MAY – Late last year, John Lennon's "Imagine" was suggested as Britain's official theme song for the new millennium – but Nancy L. Mari has had a much better idea for what to do with Lennon's old material.Her new worship song, "Jesus Reigns on High Forever" (which can be sung to the traditional old tune of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds") makes John's LSD-inspired lyric suitable at last for Sunday morning church. Although, having said that, the "high forever" part of the song title is a mite concerning. All together now...
Jesus Reigns on High Forever Jesus of the Week calls it a day 29th APRIL – Tragically, we have to announce the demise of a website that was an inspiration to us in the early days of Ship of Fools and one of the first sites recommended in our Fruitcake Zone. The celebrated "Jesus of the Week", which was run by Peter Gilstrap for over three years, and which offered a new, kitchsy picture of Jesus every week, has finally hit the "Quit" button. Comments Gilstrap to his many fans: "Well, what a long, pointless trip it's been. And, like a melted snowman or a wilted sunflower, all good things must come to an end. Including this website... see you in heaven." No less than 170 pictures of Jesus were put online, and although they are no longer linked from the site's homepage, they can still be accessed with some fancy mousework. Simply click this link for the 168th image, and then change the number in the address bar of your browser from "jesus170.html" to whatever number image you want to view (between 1 and 170).
Ultimate sanction for rubbish-dumpers 29th MARCH – St Michaels and All Angels Church in Croydon, South London, simply isn't going to stand for it any more. Faced with rubbish being thrown into the church garden, they're fighting back in the way they know best – with theological insults. Ouch! Thanks to Graham Hind for sending this picture. Baptists in paradise
28th FEBRUARY – It's not often that the words "Spurgeon" and "jacuzzi" appear in the same sentence, but Honeymoon Mansion of New Albany, Indiana, have brought them together at last. The Mansion, a bed and breakfast inn with opulent, pre-civil-war decoration, has opened the ultimate honeymoon sanctuary for lovers of the Victorian Baptist preacher, C.H. Spurgeon.The Charles Spurgeon Suite is equipped with television and a sound system – but this is only the beginning of the delights. Canoodling Baptist newlyweds will simply adore the portrait of Spurgeon watching them from the wall, and Spurgeon himself would be thrilled, no doubt, by the suite's "unique divided bath, large marble jacuzzi with six eight-foot high marble columns, mirrored walls and ceiling and a hand-carved queen size cherry bed with lace canopy". The suite, which can be yours for just $159.95 per night, is also available for wedding anniversary couples who want to "rekindle the warmth and love you shared on your wedding night"... and also rekindle their appreciation of Spurgeon's 14 volumes of sermons. It can only be a matter of time before Victoria's Secret follow this up with a "Honeymoon Wear for Strict Baptists" collection. Surely they must be twins?
Pies'R'Us endorsement from heaven
22nd FEBRUARY – Images of Christ pop up in the strangest places: in the wood-grain of felled trees, for instance, or in rust stains on the side of a shack.But when a school dinner lady from Wigan found the face of Christ looking up at her from the bottom of a tin-foil dish, out of which she'd just tipped a steak and kidney pie, the UK's most notorious tabloid, the Sunday Sport, got interested (see front page headline above). The makers of the pie, Hollands Pies of Baxenden, Lancashire, offered a rare theological comment on the miracle: "It is a very special year and maybe this is a sign and a holy endorsement."
Top | Old Logs | Current Log | SOF Home © Ship of Fools 2000 |